Thursday, August 12, 2010

Not So Fresh Meat

Not So Fresh Meat
(A piece by freshie skater Jessica B.)

June 1st I joined and starting practicing with the Albany All Stars. I am still not quite sure what I was exactly thinking. I do remember having my butt handed to me that first practice - and all I did was some endurance drills and basics!! However, there is an odd sense of satisfaction having survived that AND continued to go back for more

Technically I am about 40 days into my 90 day probation period (we had a month break from mid June to mid July) and while I still have my "what did I get myself into moments" they are just that. Moments. I am 100% in love with roller derby (still). Physically this is the hardest thing I have ever done (having not been athletic to begin with, for some that may not be saying too much), mentally and emotionally it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. More so now that I have started to scrimmage.

Quick definition for fans who may not know....scrimmage is basically a practice jam. We have a pack. We have jammers. We try to score points and knock each other on our asses. At least that is how I see it.

My first scrimmage was the "fresh meat" group divided into black shirts and white shirts with Trixie Firecracker as the jammer for one team (she switched sides so each "team" could have the chance to "kill the jammer" (not her team) or get the jammer through the pack (that's her team!)

What a thrill!!!

There is an amazing rush of thoughts as you jam. Who do I need to hit? Who's gearing up to hit me? Where the eff is the jammer?? OMG!!! Almost fell!! OMG!!!! Just fell!!! GET UP GET UP GET UP!!!!! Rejoin pack! Where the eff is the jammer??? Who the hell is yelling at me and WTF are they telling me to do?!?!? Look back!! Look back again!!!! WHERE THE EFF IS THE JAMMER?!?!?!?!?!

While I didn't knock anyone down, I did get in some good shoves. Oh. And in case you didn't realize from my fairly accurate inner monologue, I fell. Hard. Twice actually. I am told I got back up quick. I personally think they are all liars. I felt like a flailing, flopping fish outta water as I tried to get back up. However, I did get back up. That is just what you have to do. Get up. Derby is life. You try hard. You keep trying. You get knocked down, but you get right back up and keep going.

A week later, scrimmaging again, I got to try being a jammer. Totally different inner monologue.

OMG OMG What was I thinking??? Ok, where are my teammates? Eff! She's gonna hit me! Push back! Grab teammate - get through!! YAY!!!!! Made it! Ok, let's start looping around. LOVE YOU CROSSOVERS!!! Damn.....the pack is moving pretty fast.... Must *gasp* catch *gasp* up *wheeze*!!!!!

I am now in awe and very jealous of those endurance levels of the other girls. More so of those that are jammers more often than not. But, I am glad I tried.

Now that I am not so fresh meat, and I am doing these scrimmages, more and more the reality of myself being able to bout one day is sinking in.....AND I LOVE IT!

I LOVE roller derby. It really does change Well, let me end with this.....

You know you play derby when.......
- You flash your butt to friends in public places to show them your bruise you got at the last practice/bout
- You are perfectly ok with going to public places in booty shorts, fishnets or tights, knee socks and covered in sweat after practice
- You own more pairs of knee socks and fishnets than you do regular socks and stockings
- You DO own a helmet and are damn proud of all the cool stickers on it
- You drive like you skate. Weaving in and out of traffic. Booty blocking tailgaters and sometimes, you give other drivers the signal for cutting the track when they piss you off as they cut you off.....


  1. Loved it, Jessica B! Great job expressing your thoughts and feelings. Keep up the hard'll pay off :)

    Mama Honky

  2. I love your inner monologue. It's dead on.

  3. I'm with Jez, that's exactly what I'm saying to myself, only when I say it there's a lot more swearing involved! Great job.